Friday, July 3, 2009

Warning: BRUTALLY HONEST

I want to binge and I really don't want to talk about it.

Right now I am really stressed out because of job issues...I am tired of not knowing what I will be doing week to week.

I wish my house was as organized and clean as my friend Breanna's and that my kid was as well behaved as my friend Kami 's and that my hair was cut like this chick that hangs out with my friend Megan. oh ya since I am wishing I wish I could run for miles and that I gained weight in my butt and legs before I did in my stomach.

Do I really need to say "my friend" like a billion times??

I want to eat 14 cupcakes right now and be happy. Well not happy. I would just be upset by something tangible something that I can control that is right now.

So I could say I made myself sad because I ate too many cupcakes instead of I feel like I am not measuring up to the world because it seems like everyone has their shit together but me.

Today I did not eat 14 cupcakes... I ate 1 and then the icing off of 2, earlier and felt like crap about it and wanted to lie about it.
I went to Las Palmos to eat mexican for lunch and had chicken taco salad and chips and cheese dip. I had leftover steak and buffalo chicken dip with celery for breakfast.

I did not exercise or clean my bathrooms or mop my floors.

I did however write an application letter and personalize my resume for a job that I am applying for and cleaned out and organized Jackson's toys. Also I worked on tagging/organizing for the yard sale.

It is 9ish. If I dedicate myself I can: clean all the things I wanted to clean today and go for a run. This would make me feel like less of a loser today.

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