i miss my blogging adventures :(
one day soon I hope to get back to them more consistently. For now I am proud of myself for going to the gym a couple times a week and not resorting to fast food more than once a week or so...work is good, hard but good. I learned how to castrate a goat the other day...you really do not want to know FYI I am a school based therapist.
My kid got sick after 5 seconds at daycare so he has not been sleeping which in turn means we have not been sleeping either. he stayed home 2 days and then friday went back.
I feel like writing a letter to my sons new daycare, it would go something like this.

Dear daycare peeps,
I get that you have 8 other kids in my childs room to worry about but since you know i will be there at 4:05 everyday can you make sure his diaper is fresh, I mean i am paying you for this kind of shit right? also if I have to tell you again to put sunscreen on him I might go postal...do you remember what that is, it involves guns and dead people.
Thanks,
the therapist mom that is not all warm and fuzzy and instead is kind of a bitch

PS. 15 minutes does not count as a nap so dont even bother to write that shit down.

PS.

I am now employed. I start MOnday.... I will busily be looking for easy portable lunches this weekend as I cry and hold my baby :(

"undertakers have discovered that human bodies are not deteriorating as quickly as they used to, The reason, they believe, is that the standard North American diet now contains so many preservatives, and these chemicals may prevent the body from decomposing rapidly after death." From this website...Eat Shrink and Be Merry


Holey ewww batman!

Funny old person moment happened at my house today.

Hubs grandma was in town and had some hostess lil debbie 100 calorie pack Carrot cake muffins....and was talking about how they were healthy and would make a good breakfast because they have CARROTS in them.

Dude I cant make this shiz up.

I was struck speechless.

I wonder how preserved her body is getting if she thinks the pooo that is hostess cupcakes is good for you food???

How did we get so out of touch with the reality that is real food?

This video was AMAZING.... a trainer gained 90 lbs on purpose to better understand his clients well and make a documentary film but I dont hate him for wanting to make money off it.

something awkward happened after my "i think i am going to die" workout class this morning.

An old man (yes there are several men in the class- soo weird) but back to this particular old man.

He walked up to me, said "good job" and stuck his hand out for a high five!!


Ok what is one supposed to do in this situation... I mean I couldn't very well leave the man hanging and how is he supposed to know that I:

1. am not a morning person
2. don't talk to strangers
3. and definitely don't do high fives with them especially at 6 am when my legs are jelly and I have a huge wedgie and cant pick it because there are mirrors everywhere because apparently skinny people like to LOOK at themselves while getting all red faced and sweaty.

so I gave him a weak high five and said thanks and left quickly.

Polite but not encouraging of more interaction. that's how I roll.

Now if I could just figure out how to get rid of a wedgie in a room full of mirrors.

I have been a horrible fat girl when it comes to food the last few days. The stress of going back to work is really getting to me.

I dont wannnaaaaa.

starting new things is not my forte. Blah.

So since I just cant seem to keep junk off my plate this week I am focusing on my exercise routine...you know the one that has me getting out of the bed before 5 am.

I take a class that totally kicks my ass.

really need to start getting these posted on the right day

homemade granola bar (3 more over the course of the day)
1000 calories (ya this recipe really needs to be modified)



buffalo chicken dip, celery, and chips - 600 calories



cheez-its - 160 calories


total = 1760

Fast and Easy Chili Nachos

Chili Nachos

12 tortilla chips - 140 calories
1/4 can of Hormel Turkey Chili with Beans - 100 calories
lettuce
onions
spinach
banana peppers
1/4 cup 2% cheese - 80 calories
tomatoes
3 tb light sour cream - 60 calories

less than 500 calories


I ate one other meal today- Lunch at Chilis with a friend to celebrate my new job.

I had 1/2 a bacon burger 500 calories , 1/3 a molten cake 430 calories, some cheese fries - 300 calories and a corn on the cob - 190 calories

Total for the day = 1920 calories

ouch!!! and no exercise :(

Fat Girl needs to IGNORE friends who tempt them and say they should go out to lunch to celebrate ANYTHING! (just an FYI that biatch is skinny too!)

Now I am off to bed....gotta get up early so I can get my ass spanked by some crazy skinny chick at 5:15 am!

Mondays Food

Breakfast- half a Texas Roadhouse Cheeseburger
400 calories




lunch- homemade dark chocolate mousse and mint chocolate chip ice cream
700 calories




Dinner- fruit salad, pb&j and cheese its - plus another 1/2 sandwhich and a glass of 2% milk

700 calories


Total for the day: 1800 calories

Exercise:

45 minutes of agonizing step aerobics & 1 hour mowing the very tall tall grass in my front lawn in 100 degree heat

" In the study of 173 countries, we stood with Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea as the only countries providing no paid maternity leave. Of the 169 countries that guarantee paid maternity leave, 98 of them provide 14 or more weeks. Among wealthy countries—except ours—parents are entitled to as much as 47 weeks of paid family leave"

Source- Newsweek

But dude I bet those countries do not pay out billion dollar buy outs to companies that are failing.

I annoy people on purpose sometimes.

there is a man who lives across the street from us who watches me mow my lawn.
creepy right?

Except for he isn't getting his jollys off- he watching and shaking his repeatedly because I do not mow my yard the way he thinks it needs to be mowed.

He uses a bagger and has PERFECT diagnal lines and mows twice a week.

I usually wait to long, dont bag and my lines are always crooked.

Here recently I have taken to tormenting the poor old man.

I can't seem to help myself- I have been making crazy disorder with the lawn mower.

think lines & squiggles.

Dude if I knew his name I would soooo mow that into my front yard.

Told ya I was mean.

I made it to class at 5:15 this morning.

That shit is soo hard.

I seriously can feel my fat MELTING.

Am I the only person who hates her former fat friends who got skinny??

(1 gastric bypass, 3 lapbands and 1 au natural)

Seriously its not about the jealously...dude its there but that's not why I hate them.

its all about the secrecy... as they lose the weight they seem to become increasingly uncomfortable talking about it.

my compassionate side sees why they have this issue, I am sure EVERYONE asks them what they eat and how they exercise.... and they must get so tired of talking about "it"

but my nosy fatgirl side wants to know....what they eat EVERY single day.

I want to see it.

I read lots of food blogs, some with peeps that have lost weight.
But its always 15-30 lbs which I admire them for but only a little.
I want to see someone who was super fat and is not anymore, what did they eat while they were losing....what do they eat now...?

I've toyed with the idea of getting lapband. I am a good candidate for the surgery. I do know how to eat well and I exercise more than most girls who weigh over 250 lbs.

What keeps me from seriously looking into it is that I know I would feel like a failure.

I want to do this on my own.

Thursday Morning we got up way to early and loaded mr jackson in the car to take him to stay with his great grandma for the weekend.

I miss the lil booger. A lot!

But it has been fun to play childless for a while. Hubs birthday was also on Thursday so after driving for 5 hours I asked what he wanted to do for his bday and he said "go to the gym together"

I played Wallyball (volley ball on a raquet ball court- 10 people are on the court at once!).

I sucked. but at least I tried.

it was fun...kinda. Its very loud because its enclosed and the ball hits the walls alot and I am not soo good when under pressure and the ball flies all over the place and my a.d.d kicked in a couple times....well anyway I think I will stick with my workout classes.

it was VERY FUN to see hubs having a great time, he loves anything competitive.

Then we went to a late showing of Harry Potter- not the best but we were the ONLY people in the theatre so that was kinda cool.
Since we had not eaten dinner and were starving we got popcorn to share.
Dude stale popcorn sucks....and $8 stale popcorn really sucks.

So its was after 1 by that time and we were both starving so we hit up Mcdonalds for breakfast food. I had a bacon egg biscuit, dissappointingly though :( booo again!

Finally on Friday I got some good eats.
me and chickie banana went to Jasons Deli for the first time.

Seriously, I am in love.

AMAZING Salad Bar.

Then we shopped for 7 hours.

Dinner was some more amazing grub at a Brazilian grill called Gauchos- hmmm Atkins dieters paradise. I think I am now set on protein for a month.

Hubs rented the newest Fast and Furious, loved seeing all the original cast back together and then we hit the hay around 2 am again.

Today things are finally slowing down. We went to a Greek restarant for lunch called Layla's in west little rock.

Hummus & babbaganoush & tabbouleh with fresh warm pitas for appetizers & then hubs got a spinach garlic pizza and I got a gyro ( but ate some pizza after only a couple bites of gyro which was not my fav)

First time for both of us on gyro, tabbouleh and babbaganoush.

then we went to Harvest Food to get some supplies (shrimp, yogurt, whole wheat pastry flour, spices, honey, TVP & wheat gluten) and gifts for the gma (cocoa nibs & cashews).

Fun couple of days!

Next on my to do list is going to Kroger and Walmart.

Then its time for me to start cooking.

I am going to attempt to do once month cooking!

Then menu is planned and the lists are ready to go!