I passed my test!

Woooo Hooooo! I feel better.

Here is the lunch that helped me focus. I ate about half of the sweet potato and half the sandwich but all the chicken off both half's of the sandwich. My drink was an unsweet tea with 1 Sweetnlow! Yummy!

I love these nut bars and only 150 calories each!

Dinner at a friends.

Steak, half a potatoe with sour cream, roll, salad

Finally dessert at home. I got this little box of cereal in the mail from Vocal Point along with some GREAT coupons!

Day 1 of Blogging EVERYTHING I eat

Soo I started taking pictures on Saturday... and now I think I got the habit down. The first few days were sporadic and we went out to eat and I didnt bring my camera and I thought about posting it all now but that would annoy me so here I am.

Day 1 (Please remember that I am not on a diet YET, right now I am just starting a new habit of taking a picture of every thing I eat)

Breakfast- a filled doughnut and half of an apple fritter with a glass of 2 % and a side of NCE notecards.

NCE stands for National Counselor Exam and it is THE TEST that will allow me to get licensed or

NOT!

I know I am going to have to eat something better for lunch before I go take my test so I will not crash.

Food Porn

Sounds soo dirty...

I love food. all types.
Love to cook it, play with, and even EAT IT
ok I wont lie, its really about eating.

I hate food. specially the kind that tastes the best.
it haunts me. and then it hangs around.
ON MY THIGHS.

I think if I ended my love/hate relationship with food, I could be thin.
I know it seems slightly weird but I think because I don't want to love food and I do, I obsess over it, abstain from it and then finally gorge on it.
To have a completely normal relationship with food in all of its many forms, I need to learn to just eat, not too much and most of the time the healthy stuff. And not gorge when I choose to have a treat such as ice cream ( today I ordered a small), not eat food unless it is absolutely satisfying i.e not just eating it because it is there and gasp THROW food away (hard for my frugal side to do).

oh ya and intentional exercise...EVERY DAY.

Thats the shiznit of what I have been practising this week.
and
i think it might be working because I am now down to...283 lbs.

My goals for this next week.

1. take my before pictures
2. weigh everyday
3. take a picture and post everything that i eat

i am having to fight the urge to put about 20 more things on that list like: track calories for every meal, exercise for at least an hour every day, stick to a 1800 calorie "plan", make a meal plan...

check out some food porn

I want to be type A

I wish I could be that girl that obsesses over things being "right". I hate to admit it but I am generally pretty unobservant and very laid back.
I have tried to change...
Create schedules and rules.
But they get lost or I forget.
I read about Kath's day and how she cleaned the kitchen floor ON HER KNEES with 3 different cleaners/processes??? and mowed her lawn in diagonal stripes.
These are things that a person who is not type A would never EVER even think of.
I admire the perfectionism and sometimes even wish I could be "that girl" but its tiring and kind of a never ending battle of the "to do lists".

Here is a run down of my NOT Type A Saturday

Woke up with the kid a little before 8
got him changed, fed and dressed.
handed kid off to hubs and went to shower and dress
Hit a community wide yard sale- scored some cute outfits for the fall for the kid and got 1.5 hrs of walking in 485 calories burned
Allowed the husband to lust after big screens at Best Buy
hunted the mysterious NCE testing center in Little Rock
(seriously - directions sound like your entering a secret society... park in secret location, walk 1 block, go down alley, knock twice on secret door...)
Ate AMAZING high calorie lunch of grilled steak, beans, cheese dip/chips and salad at a little hole in the wall Mexican place
Played in the rain
hit up BBB and game stop
caved to serious desire for ice cream and got a SMALL custard at Shakeys
Studied for NCE
took a nap
Ate grilled chicken breast, steamed veggies, and half a sweet potatoe for dinner
Now blogging and getting my deals ready for the week.

PS. I do actually clean my floors on my hands and knees but its bc I am lazy.. I just kind of wipe as I go so that I only have to really mop once in a while... like when my mother is coming to visit.

Fa La La... i'm a fat girl

I have weighed over 200 lbs since 7th grade. I know this because I was in weight watchers at that time and had to weigh every week. I went for about 2 months. All I really remember is little booklets that said what to eat and the scale going up every week. 195...197....199
til it hit 200lbs and so then I quit.

285 lbs is my current weight, size 24-26

boo, there its on the page for the world to see, I cannot take it back or hide from it.

Fa la la... I'm a fat girl.

The word "die" is in diet

I had never noticed that the word "die" is in diet. LMAO that is the funniest thing I have thought about in a long time.
and yes I am well aware that you should change you lifestyle and not say diet.. blah blah blah.
I am thinking of crash dieting just because I never have, just to see what happens.

I 'think" I want to go on a diet

So I "think" I want to go on a diet. I know I should go on a diet, but should and want to are two totally different animals.
Reasons Why I should go on a diet.....
to be healthier
to live longer

Reasons why I think I might want to go on a diet...
to be "mo hotness"

really, I am so vain. Most days I think I am hot but I dream about how good looking I would be if I lost 100 pounds. (well and had surgery for the whole skin issue)

i wonder if i am the only chubby girl that worries she will look worse with saggy flaps than with chunky curves??